I Should Legally Change My Name

I'm sad to publicly admit that I didn't see Now & Then until 2003. Well, I'm not that sad. If I were really sad I wouldn't tell you. But I am telling you. 


After I first saw it I watched it again and again for a whole week, even making my grandmother watch it with me. Since I refused to sit in a chair or put my computer anywhere but the floor, I made my grandma sit on the floor with me to watch. It's okay, she's 24 (that's what she continues to tell us). She did not enjoy the movie as much as I hoped she would. Lame. 


So I sit down to watch for the first time with 5 of my friends. We're sitting on the floor even though we're surrounded by comfy sofas and chairs (I think floor sitting must be a staple of youthfulness). You know right at the beginning when they all jump on their bikes and ride off and Chrissy can't keep up? That prompted all of my friends to agree that I was Chrissy. I tried to deny it, but it was true. I'm Chrissy. 


I need to eat a lot. 


I'm relatively naive. Talking about sex or anything remotely related to it never fails to make me uncomfortable. 


I will give you mouth to mouth if you're dying. 


I really wanted a pink tree house after I saw this movie. I would happily keep track of a tree house fund. 


I will help you paint your garage only if you let me eat more than I paint. 


You know what's really great knowing that I'm Chrissy? I get married and have a kid first and I'm the only one without an addiction to plastic surgery or nicotine/alcohol and on top of that I don't have to work because my husband is a filthy rich nerdy dentist. (I have no intention of marrying any time soon, but I'll still marry first, even if I'm 90. Also, I have a fear of dentists so I'm slightly worried this will effect my chances of marrying a dentist.) 




There are only three reasons I'm not Chrissy. I hoped there would be more proof, but I've given up.

-I've left the state and have little intention of permanently moving back (and taking over my childhood home) any time soon. 


-I have never owned a clear raincoat that looks like a giant condom (thanks for that one, Matilda). 


-I know you can't get pregnant from kissing.






Here are the only reasons I can think of for why I'm not the other girls.


-I'm not Teeny because I don't want, nor have I ever needed, a boob job. I was, however, quite curious what it would be like to stuff my bra using water balloons filled with pudding. I still think that would be a fun experiment (but unlike Chrissy I really don't care about the flavor of pudding used).


-I'm not Roberta because I never taped my boobs down and I could never be a doctor. The thought of doctory things makes me nauseous. 


-I'm not Sam because I'd never climb into a sewer drain.