Important Things I've Learned Post College

I spent the past week with family and friends in a variety of cities. I got to spend a total of 24 hours, non consecutively, in my hometown, but a lot of great time in Delaware and NYC. While frolicking I learned some things that I probably should have already known, but alas, it's just making sense now. I'm going to share with you some of the ones that are...something. Whatever, just read about this crap: 




I always thought Chipotle would be great for a hangover. Terrible idea. Just trust me on this one. 

As much fun as it might seem to get drunk with a grandparent, it's not. 

If you want to hail a taxi in NYC, you should stand in the middle of the road and almost get hit by reckless drivers. Near death = taxi success.

Refer to a Capri Sun as a "Capri Sun", not a "Juice Bag". It sounds like something else. Capri Sun is delicious no matter your age. Specifically Pacific Cooler. Those straws will always be difficult to use. 

It's not likely you'll be picked up by the Cash Cab.

Not all bars have SNY's "Beer Money" crew to ask you random sports questions at random times.

Do not let two different friends make you a drink, both using the same glass, at the same time. One will pour you vodka and the other will add water to it. It does not taste good.

Always remember that the opposite gender is a little bit dumb -- and some people are more aloof than others.

After drinking, do not set an alarm for the next morning and leave your cell across the room, forcing you to run to it. There is nothing like shooting out of bed, thinking you're fine, and trying to run in socks across a hardwood floor with a bitchin' headache and then falling over. 

Babies are really cute when they aren't yours. Poopie* diapers are for mom and dad, not cousin. 

Those 100-Ways Bras are best readjusted by guys. (I never ever thought that would be true, but alas, man type people seem to be more skilled in the bra region than women.)

The letters on the subway cars mean something.

Humidity is a beeyotch. I never want to look like Roseanne Roseannadanna. Not even on Halloween.

Eight year olds know about beer and will try to sneak some from you when you aren't looking (don't worry, they didn't get any)!






*This tried to autocorrect to potpie. I do not want a potpie diaper. That's just disgusting. Anything in a diaper is gross.


Look for another TEN ON TUESDAY later today!