DIY - Duct Tape Hair Bows!

I love arts and crafts. LOVE. Living in an apartment, I don't have as much space to store my supplies as I'd like, but I'm making do. I have a few shoe boxes filled with paints and brushes and all the other good stuff.  (That's my tip of the day for you - shoe boxes. I know you have a bunch lying around.) I recently realized I have an overabundance of duct tape. I'm not ashamed at all, okay?

Guys...this is SOME of my duct tape. I have like a bajillion more rolls.
Note: I stocked up on some extra when Michael's was having
it's 2 rolls for $8 sale (they usually run for about $ 5 a roll).
Always check your craft store's weekly ad to see what's on sale! 

What can I do with all the duct tape? Round one = HAIR ACCESSORIES.

To start, cut a strip of tape double the length you want you bow to be. (So if you want a 4" bow, you need 8" of tape.)

Fold it in half, so you now have no stickiness, and all color showing.

I lost the picture of folding in half. Hopefully that is very self explanatory. If it isn't, I'm only a little sorry.
Accordion fold your rectangle and then pinch the center.

Take a small piece of duct tape (it can be the same color as before, or a complimenting color) and wrap that bit around the center of the bow, securing the shape.

You can use any kind of hair accessory you want - barrette, snap clip, bobby pin, etc. I used a bobby pin since I have a bunch lying around. Of course you could attach this with hot glue, but duct tape will do the job and HEY YOU ALREADY HAVE SOME DUCT TAPE!

I slid a piece of tape in between the two "claws" and then taped it to the center of the bow. If you're going to wrap that piece of tape more than once, remember not to tape over the "outer" "claw", but to slip it between once again.

Now it's time to WEAR IT!

Guys, it's really hard to take a picture of the back of your own head. I have like, 20 pictures on my phone of various parts of my head/back/floor that don't even show the bow.  

I picked this pattern solely for the colors - RAVENS PRIDE! I'll most definitely sport this bow this weekend during all Super Bowl festivities.

I originally saw this tutorial here. Julia has more step-by-step pictures than I do, if you need more explanation.


If you try this tutorial, or make any kind of cool duct tape accessory, tweet me a pic (@meliswein) or email me (undiagnosedspaz@gmail.com).

But Ms Frizzle!

The Magic School Bus. What an amazing series. Seriously, it was very educational! Sometimes it taught me more than my teachers. Particularly my 7th grade science teacher who would turn on an episode for us and then fall asleep. I will tell you now, 7th graders are too old for "The Magic School Bus" in terms of learning...but not in terms of FUN!

I don't think about this all the time, so stop worrying, Mom.


While laying bed the other night I sat up to pull my hair back and felt something strange. I had showered just before, so I knew it wasn't a bobby pin. I frantically searched my hair and retrieved...a paperclip. That's weird for a lot of reasons but one, why was there a paperclip in my bed? Two, it was a small silver one. The only ones I have that are silver are large, and the only small ones I have are colored! And the mystery begins...

But that made me think of The Friz! How did her hair stay in that lovely bun? I don't see any hair ties or bobby pins! And that's when I discovered...the woman must use SCHOOL SUPPLIES to keep herself together! Ahhh yes. The paper clip. Maybe some binder clips. 

The Friz had style! Not always "good" style by societal standards, but in the educational world she certainly was the talk of the town. 

I just realized Lily Tomlin was the voice of Ms. Frizzle. Mind. Blown.
Also, Liz the Lizard? Best name ever.


Take the "How Much Do You Know About The Magic School Bus?" Quiz!



Email: Undiagnosedspaz@gmail.com         Twitter: @meliswein

I Bet You Didn't Know I'm Obsessed With TV

I saw this on tumblr and seeing as I spend most of my free time watching tv shows, I thought this would be a fun thing to do. So, in place of a new Ten on Tuesday I give you the TV SHOW TAG!

TV Shows

Tag 5 TV Shows you like before reading the questions.

1. Pretty Little Liars

2. Modern Family

3. Law & Order: SVU

4. Psych

5. 30 Rock

Who is your favorite character in 2?
Alex

Who is your least favorite character in 1? 
Byron

What’s your favorite episode of 4? 
Who Ya Gonna Call?

What is your favorite season of 5? 
1

What’s your favorite relationship in 3?
Cabot and Benson. Platonic relationship, obvi. 

Who is your anti-relationship in 2? 
Oy. I mean they're family...and I don't want to anti-relationship family. Haley and Dylan? or Mitch/Cam and Pepper?

How long have you watched 1?
Since the beginning, yo.

How did you become interested in 3?
I'm pretty sure I started watching one of the marathons on USA when nothing else was on tv. And then I got hooked (I write this while watching a USA SVU marathon...)

Who is your favorite actor in 4?
Dule Hill

Which show do you prefer 1, 2, or 5? 
1! So much mystery.

Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3? 
3, only because there are more episodes. 

If you could be anyone from 1, who would you be? 
Meredith!

Would you kill off your favorite character in 5? 
No!

Would a 3/4 crossover work?

Oh my gosh yes and it would be brilliant. Shawn would try to make witty comments and Benson would punch him. Then, Gus would whisper to Benson, "thanks for that, I've been wanting to do that for years." I can hardly imagine the relationship between our fave coroners - Melinda Warner and Woody...Woody. 

Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple?
I couldn't pick just one pair. Ashley and Ezra. Darren and Melissa. Noel and Spencer. Toby and Emily.

Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5? 
Wow, tough choice. I'm gonna go by current cast - 5. (If all time cast, I'm going 3...OMG Chris Meloni.)

Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?
4. I know, you know.

So, if I'm watching tv it's either a comedy, or a procedural crime show.


Also, the 30 ROCK  SERIES FINALE airs this Thursday at 8pm (a full hour show!) on NBC. I don't work for the show. I just love it. So watch it. And as Tina Fey said at the SAG Awards "just dvr The Big Bang Theory once!"

My Sabbatical Hiatus Break

As I'm sure no one noticed because no one reads my blog, I only had two posts last week. That's right, I fell short of my New Years resolution and it's only January. I could easily ramble off the list of things that kept me from writing, but I won't. Because I don't want to. 

But to jump back to my post "Did you know...?" sometimes I just don't have the motivation to write. Seeing as I'm not being paid to post on here (which I should be...because... because.), I find no obligation to force myself to write when I'm not feeling particularly inspired.

Like everyone, sometimes I need some "alone" time. That's alone, away from my thoughts and the pressures of life (including the pressures I put on myself), alone.

I'm getting my head back on and I have a bunch of posts in the works that will be up as soon as I'm up. Me up spirit wise, posts up on here. Look for some DIY Tutorials in the next few weeks (I replaced my writing time with a lot of arts and crafts)! 


As always, if you have comments, questions or suggestions, hit me up: undiagnosedspaz@gmail.com

Ima mofo K-L-E-P-T-0

I have a past. I know, I know what you're saying - "we all have a past, Melissa". Gosh you guys are smart! What I mean is...I have a past that includes kleptomania.*

When I was young, I stole a magnet from my Aunt's fridge. I was caught within minutes and returned said magnet without any jail time.

As an adult, I've developed a habit of collecting clothing from boyfriends. Depending on the terms in which we ended, I may or may not have returned said items.

I recently did a huge clean out and organization of my closet and in the process discovered some of these artifacts. Well of course I couldn't just simply donate to Goodwill - not just yet anyway.

From Josiah I had a white undershirt. I used this for an art project last summer. It is now my "Valdy <3s NY" shirt.

Look how cool my square head looks!

Marcus gave me a shirt he had two of. Not two in different colors. He owned two of the exact same shirt. Probably so when one went missing, he wouldn't cry.

Jonathan gave me a pair of sweatpants...with holes in them.

So, I used Marcus and Jonathan's well worn crap as dust rags. My room is so so clean! And their already gross clothes are really really gross now. Really. Gross.

A note to ex-boyfriends, boyfriends, and people everywhere. If you end on good terms you will either get your stuff back OR your girlfriend will hang on to it but never deface it. Most likely it will be a shrine to you. If you end on bad terms, your clothes are never coming back to you AND will be torn to shreds to use as cleaning supplies.

*I have NEVER stolen anything from a store. Also, when I say "stole" from a boyfriend, I mean he lent me something and I simply never returned it.

Autotunecorrect

Living in LA, I spend quite a bit of time in my car, sitting in traffic. The ten mile drive from work to my house takes about an hour, on average (it's taken 2.5 before). So during my long "sitting in traffic" time, I decided to sing some songs into my iPhone's "Notes" app. I wanted to see if it could decipher the correct words when I sing, rather than talk. Yeah, the car ride is really THAT boring.


"Miracles Happen" by Myra 

Actual Lyrics: Miracles happen once in awhile
                      When you believe

iPhone interpretation: Eric girls have been one in Lyle
                                   when you obey and cheese


"I Can Hear the Bells" from Hairspray

Actual Lyrics: Round One, He'll ak me on a date, and then
                      Round Two, I'll primp but won't be late, because
                      Round Three is when we kiss inside his car!
                      Won't go all the way but I'll go pretty fa-ar!

iPhone Interpretation:  Around Laurenhill ask me on invade and then 
                                    around two I'll print but it will be late so like 
                                    around three is when we kiss inside his car 
                                    won't Gawaldo where you Madwale gone pretty far I


"Do You Believe in Magic?" by The Lovin' Spoonful

Actual Lyrics: Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart
                      How the music can free her, whenever it starts
                      And it's magic, if the music is groovy
                      It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie

iPhone Interpretation:Do you Bealine then made Jack Vaniang girls heart 
                                  the music industry is when Adarint sides 
                                  in his Magic Dragon music is grown man 
                                  makes me feel happy like it I'll Timo and


"Better Dig Two" by The Band Perry

Actual Lyrics: I told you on the day we wed
                      I was gonna love you til I's dead
                      Made you wait til our wedding night
                      That's the first and the last time I wear white

iPhone Interpretation: I so Manamana Naauao when I
                                   was going to love him fill out the 
                                   man is always Sillero and a night 
                                   it's the first data last time now I'll I


So, moral of this "story" is that I need more things to keep me occupied on my long drive home. Please send suggestions.

Happy January 17th! - A "Celebration"

Why is it called Sundance if it's in the winter and there is snow? Is there dancing?

Happy January 17th! Today is the first day of the Sundance Film Festival! It is also the day designated to ditch New Year's Resolutions! So, by default, today is the day I will resume going to the gym on a regular basis.  Hopefully by now the crowd has died down and I'll be back to seeing the regulars I know and love...and have to smell, in the locker room.

Why do we make resolutions, fully aware that we'll break them? Why do people make promises they can't keep? The answer to both is: a mystery. I don't know the answer.

I made a few resolutions, some I know I will keep longer than others. But that said, I don't expect any of my resolutions to last the whole year.

I think I'll start making monthly resolutions. On the first of every month, as I part ways with my beloved rent money, I'll make monthly goals. My first goal for every month - pay rent on the first of every month. I'm off to a good start.

Also today, Maury Povich is 74 years old! I still want to be on his show. Although you never really hear "you ARE the mother!". So I guess my dream is stifled. 

Movies To Watch For...And Then See - 2013

I know you were all so intrigued by my "Best Films of 2012" post, so here are some of the films I'm most looking forward to judging in 2013.

Identity Thief
Theatrical Release: February 8
Jason Bateman? Check. Melissa McCarthy? Check check (which is different than 'double check'). I think it'll live up the hype and bring tons of laughs.
Bonus: Ben Falcone, McCarthy's husband and "Bridesmaids" "Air Marshall Jon" appears.

jOBS
Theatrical Release: April
If the script is any indication of the film, skip this. I'm sure Ashton Kutcher will be great, but why see the sub-par version when you can wait for Aaron Sorkin's version?

Now You See Me
Theatrical Release: June 7

Just click the link to see who stars - it's unbelievable. Magic PLUS crime equals mystical deception. Mystical deception equals awesome.


Monsters University
Theatrical Release: June 21
The prequel to "Monsters, Inc." Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I can't wait for this! Mike Wazowski should  win an award. Not Billy Crystal, Mike Wazowski.

Girl Most Likely (Formerly titled "Imogene")
Theatrical Release: July 19
All star cast spearheaded by Kristen Wiig. I'm a fan of all Wiig projects, so fingers crossed that this delivers. Reviews from its TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) premiere in September were less than stellar, but here's to hoping the critics were unnecessarily harsh. 

Left Behind
Theatrical Release: November
Intended to be drastically different than the 2001 version starring Kirk Cameron, this time it's said that there will be less focus on the religious aspect. Script was intriguing. This could go either way - to see, or not to see? THAT is the question.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
Theatrical Release: November 22
See it. That's all I'll say.


Dorothy of Oz
Theatrical Release: TBA
See it. Seriously. You won't be sorry. The visuals are fantastic, the songs, overwhelming. And as always, Lea Michele rocks it.

Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection
Theatrical Release: TBA (Already out in UK)
Maybe...MAYBE it will actually be scary. Because the 1968 version is laughable. "Ben! No! Beeeennnn!"

Ten On Tuesday (4)!

Whoa, I haven't done a Ten On Tuesday since JULY! Thanks, Chelsea!

1. What is your favorite Pixar movie? Have you seen all of them?

I'm gonna say it's a toss up between "Monsters, Inc." and "Up". And no, I haven't seen them all.

2. Do you enjoy soccer?

I do! Matilda makes me.

3. Are you musical?

I thought this said "are you a musical?". I am not a musical. And I like to sing in the car, but I'm not good. So yes, I am musical.

4. How many push-ups can you do?

In a row? Or in life? Either way I'll say 8.

5. Did you have braces when you were younger?

YES.

6. Summer or winter? Coffee or tea? Wedges or flats?

Winter. Coffee. Wedges.

7. Do you buy new or used cars?

Used.

8. Are you afraid of needles?

askdhasldkhasldkh. hyperventilating. yes.

9. Do you get cranky when you’re tired or hungry?
OH MY GOSH YES.

10. Write your newest favorite recipe.

Cowboy Chicken! I found out about it from this amazing cooking blog. (I've also guest posted on there a few times! Thanks, A!) I didn't have a crockpot, but I bought a small one for under $10 at Target. 

4-6 chicken breasts
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoons Dijon Mustard
2 cups salsa (any type - I use mango or pineapple for a little kick)
1 (15 ounce) can corn, drained 
1 (15 ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed 
½ cup sour cream (plus extra for serving)
Brown rice (for serving)

Best Films of 2012

Considering I work in the film industry, I see very few films in theaters. I also see very few films online. Conclusion? I don't see as many films as a should. That said, I'm giving you my list of 2012 faves.  The good news for you is that this list will be very short and if you haven't seen these, it won't take you forever to get through the list.


The Intouchables
Holy Moly.  This is one of the most fantastic films I've seen in recent years. The film is about a quadriplegic man who hires a young man from the wrong side of the tracks to be his caretaker.  While the subject matter seems quite depressing, it's actually very uplifting. There's no feeling sorry for either man, and both teach the other how to live life with excitement.  It's a French film - yes, there are subtitles.  But I guarantee that you won't even realize that you're reading while watching. It's THAT good.




Pitch Perfect
Yes, I'm seriously putting this on the must-watch list. Anna Kendrick? Amazing (Check out her first theatrical film, "Camp".) Brittany Snow? Impressive, as always (Look out for her next movie "Syrup", slated for theaters later this year.) Skylar Astin? Hottie. And a great actor. The three of them, plus Rebel Wilson, Ben Platt, and the rest of the ensemble make this musical rom-com brilliant. 

Fun fact: Ben Platt is the son of producer Marc Platt. Credits include "Wicked", "Legally Blonde" and "Drive".



Magic Mike
Don't watch the whole movie. The plot is flaky and boring. Watch the scenes with shirtless Channing, Matt Bomer (yes, I had to clarify), Alex, and Adam. You know you have a hot cast when Matthew McConaughey is the least attractive one. 

Seriously. 

So instead of watching 110 minutes, you'll get about 20 of the really good stuff. 

The Hunger Games
This isn't on the must-see list. You know why? Because everyone already saw it.










The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2
Don't see it. Unless you already did. Sorry you wasted your time.  This is a must NOT see. (Disclaimer: I didn't see it.)









Note: I saw many more films than I listed here. Just in case any future employer sees this. A lot of films I LOVED I didn't include because everyone else included them. And I dare to be different. DIFFERENT I SAY!

THE END

Written by

Me

Directed by

Your Mom

Produced by

Your Dad

Stay tuned for my "Must See in 2013"

THE END FOR REAL

I Taylor Swifted Myself

I Taylor Swifted myself. No, that term isn't in the dictionary just yet, but I've crafted it to mean "someone who focuses their career on a specific topic only to find that said topic cannot sustain said career."

I started my blog with little direction, but soon found my calling was writing about my bad dating history. Now I have the most amazing boyfriend - truly, he's wonderful (and no, he did not write this part himself). That said, this has brought my to a standstill in my blogging career and thus the term "I've Taylor Swifted Myself." 

What's gonna happen to Taylor when she finally finds a man to bide her time? Or, more likely, once she's dated all the men in the world and has to resort to single-dom? Seeing as the announcement this morning confirmed her split with 1D's Harry Styles, I don't think we have to worry about this anytime soon. 

I'm struggling to find things to write about as I expand my blog topics.  I still have a ton of bad dating stories I haven't written yet, so don't think that's over.  But, there won't be a continuous flow of them the way there once was. While I have a lot of ideas for non-dating posts, it's hard to turn a small idea into a story, and then a story that's worth posting. If you have any ideas for me, feel free to comment below or email me (undiagnosedspaz@gmail.com).

Also, does anyone have any ideas of what Taylor should do once she's used up all the men? 


Disclaimer: I'm a HUGE T-Swift fan. This is not an attack post. 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I understand this post is 7 days late, but cut me some slack, I'm lazy. That said, my resolutions seem to have a great chance.

One of my many resolutions is to recommit to blogging. Specifically, I aim to post at least 3 times a week. Holy poop. THREE TIMES. That's like, 1 + 2. Or 1 + 1 + 1. Or 0 +3. So now you all know I'm a math genius.

Anyway, that means ME. I will post MY work 3 times a week. That said, if I have guest posts, the number of actual posts per week could be higher. But a guest post will never count toward my 3. I know you didn't need an explanation on that because it's fairly simple, but my brain is still on holiday mode and I was typing that explanation more for my own sanity than anyone else's.

As always, if you're interested in submitting a guest post, get in touch! To make communication with you easier, you can now email me questions/comments/requests/guest posts to this email address: undiagnosedspaz@gmail.com  -- I know, it's clever.