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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Oh of course, Mr. Rockefeller!


Last week I forgot my best friend’s birthday because it was the same night as my six month anniversary with my boyfriend.

Not really. That was from “Full House”, but this has undoubtedly happened to someone and I say to them, “You are a terrible friend. Facebook probably even reminded you!” If this has happened to you, you know how stressful it can be trying to make last minute reservations at the hottest restaurant in town when everyone keeps saying “I’m sorry, we’re booked.” Fear not, faithful readers! I am here to teach you how to make your way into that exclusive dining room!

Once they've told you they're booked, complain that Mr. Pitt will be so upset. You can also claim you're a descendant of Rockefeller. I know from experience that that will work. True story:

Hostess: [Fancy Restaurant]

You: I'd like to make a reservation for 4 people at 7pm.

Hostess: So sorry, but we're booked.

You: Mr. Rockefeller was looking forward to this! And I cancelled a life saving surgery to eat at your restaurant!

Hostess: We can take you at 7:15!

SUCCESS!

More risky, but probably yielding the same success rate, violently screaming: "My boyfriend is the chief of the fashion police!"  You lose the sanity and fear factors, but gain the "hostess thinks you are crazy" factor. Hopefully it's terrifying enough to get a reservation, but not so terrifying that they call the police. 

Worst case scenario is that none of these things work and you have to use your family as party guests, use toilet paper as streamers and make a hash brown potato cake. [Fun Fact: When I was little I didn't know what hash browns were. A real shame.] Disclaimer: If you do this, it will take your friend longer than a 30 minute sitcom to forgive you. I warned you!

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