Friendship means...

When I was ten I thought I was hilarious. That's when my father first told me that I wasn't funny and should "leave humor to the professionals." I heard that all too often throughout the rest of my childhood and into my adult life. Every time he'd say that I'd feel like crap. Telling someone they aren't funny is basically saying "you're an idiot." 

Even though my dad didn't think I was funny, my friends always laughed at my stories. And that got me thinking. Did they think I was funny? Or did they laugh at my idiocy? 

About a year ago during a conversation with my mom I decided that my dad is the idiot AKA not a humor professional and I, in fact, am a comic genius. 

That's not to say humor and idiocy don't overlap, because they most certainly do. Most of my jokes are very idiotic, but I don't care if they aren't funny. That's what my therapist is for. I pay her to laugh at my bad jokes. I also paid an entourage to follow me around during college but then campus security started coming after them after other students reported possible stalkings. (And that's when my parental units got angry about me giving money to strangers.)*

But this brings me to: 

How to Differentiate Between A Real Friend and a Crazy Stalker

If you tell a bad joke and:

--the recipient's eyes get super wide like "wtf you crazy mofo?" but then laugh hysterically.  FRIEND.

--the recipient laughs hysterically without judging you.  A REALLY REALLY GREAT FRIEND. BUT MAYBE A STALKER.

--the recipient laughs before you finish the joke. or before you start talking. STALKER.

.gif courtesy of http://howdoiputthisgently.tumblr.com/post/21587648417   (and of course, "Full House"). But read that blog. It's hilarious. And a great way to procrastinate. 

Go reevaluate your friendships. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and people you make laugh. If you/your friends cry a lot when you're all together, it's probably a sign of long lasting friendship. Unless, of course you're part of a fight club. In that case, get out. Get out now.

*I feel like it's important to note that I never paid anyone to follow me around during college and laugh at my jokes. I did have a stalker, but I most certainly never paid him.