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Friday, May 4, 2012

Will U Go 2 Prom Wif Me?


Remember how excited you were for Prom/Homecoming? And then remember when your date ditched you to make out with a guy? Yeah, me either. But that did happen in "Head Over Heels" (if you haven't seen it, you're not missing out). But seriously, remember how much you looked forward to that one magical day only for everything to go wrong?
One year my homecoming date was a guy who had spent years telling me how much he liked me even though I never reciprocated. I finally agreed to go to homecoming with him despite that I was to be out of town with family that weekend. I flew back into town just for homecoming. Clearly I cared about this day a lot. While at the dance this boy told one of my best friends (at the the time) that he liked her. Eff that shit. 
My senior prom date was one of my closest friends. The night lived up to all of my expectations and we had a lot of fun. Afterwards a bunch of us stayed at my girlfriend's* house and most of us were smart enough to bring sleeping bags and pillows. Not my date. Being the token Grandma of every group I've ever been in, I fell asleep quite early, with my head on my pillow. I woke up hours later to my date ripping the pillow out from underneath my head, allowing me to bang into the floor...which was not soft nor carpeted. He seemed to find it hilarious. 
I went to a different senior prom with a guy I had known for seven years, but he still found in necessary to ask me over AIM. I said yes, we went together, we made out, and two weeks later he told me over AIM that he was in love with me. Prom night was the first time I had seen him in three years and I never saw him after that. If you fall in love with everyone you make out with you should probably stop kissing people. Simple.
Remember in "She's All That" and "10 Things I Hate About You" when the girl's don't know the prom date is a set up, and then they find out but the hottie has already fallen in love with them fo reals? That doesn't happen. At least I hope that doesn't happen.
What does happen (not to me) is "Whatever It Takes" [old school Shane West and James Franco? Yes, puhleaseeee!] when your best friend from childhood finally confesses his/her love. I'd imagine finding out your BFF is in love with you is like winning the lottery. But from that movie I did resent my parents for not letting me have a balcony off of my bedroom that was feet away from cutie boy neighbor's non-existent balcony. I wanted to jump back and forth to each other, gosh! You know what I also wanted to happen at prom? I was waiting for the floor to open up and everyone to fall into the pool. Epic. I did not, however, want the prom theme to be "Titanic Dreams". Most of that movie was pretty much my hope. 
Don't get your hopes up. Three-ish years post prom you'll realize that anything you deemed uber romantic at the time was simply textbook. Guys get less douchey, but not less oblivious. If you want something romantic, spell it out. If your guy does something romantic without your request, lock him up. He's a keeper!

*Does using the term 'girlfriend' make me seem super old?

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